Failing and Re-Learning Family Worship

Consistent, meaningful times of family worship have long been a goal of mine. When Stacy was pregnant with Jude, she obsessed over cloth diapers and baby slings while I spent my time perusing Amazon and bookstores for resources for family worship. I imagined reading and re-reading the Bible storybooks until we all had them practically memorized. I imagined catechizing Jude and hearing him say with a little kid voice that our chief end is “to glorify God and enjoy him forever.”

With this enthusiasm, I started family worship early with Jude. He was barely able to sit in his high chair when every morning after breakfast we began reading a chapter of The Big Picture Story Bible followed by prayer for our day and for an unreached people group. We did this faithfully for almost a year and a half, but over time we became increasingly frustrated with Jude’s lack of engagement. I would swing him in our backyard in Moldova repeatedly asking him the most basic catechetical question: “Jude, who created you? God. Jude, who created this tree? God. Jude, who created Peanut and Heidi (the dogs)? God.” Over and over and over again, I would ask and answer the creation question just hoping that he would attempt to say, “God,” even if it was only because he thought it an amusing sound to make.

Of course, at this same time, we were becoming aware of Jude’s developmental delays, which has only recently been diagnosed as Autism Spectrum Disorder. Feeling defeated by my inability to gain Jude’s interest, I put the story Bible on the bookshelf and left it there. “Some day in the future,” I told myself, “when we overcome these problems, I’ll start family worship again.” After this came our move back to America and the resultant hectic schedule. Any random attempts to revive family worship have been unsuccessful.

When I saw on my syllabus this semester that Dr. Whitney would be teaching on family worship, I thought cynically, “I’m sure he’s never tried to lead a child on the Autism Spectrum in family worship,” and when the day came for his lecture on the subject, I entered the hour with bitterness in my heart. However, my bitterness dissipated as Dr. Whitney made a point that I had never understood before. I had restricted the goal of family worship to engaging children, but Dr. Whitney emphasized that even newlyweds should be worshiping together through Scripture reading, prayer, and song.

Family worship isn’t for children alone. It is for any and every family member capable of being involved. Stacy Leigh and I both need to worship together. As we fight the spiritual battles of discouragement, depression, and despair, we need to strengthen one another through times of worship together, and, as a husband, it is my duty before God to provide such experiences. Previously, my misguided expectations resulted in an unsuccessful practice. With Advent beginning this Sunday, I want to recommit to the practice of leading my family—and more specifically my wife—in worship. I know that doing so will never be easy as Satan desires to keep us from the worship of God and to deprive our family of spiritual food. Yet, I am confident that a clearer, truer expectation for family worship will result in a more profitable experience, and I hope that one day when Jude is capable of joining us, we will have already established a consistent, meaningful family tradition.